Silence or Shame
On Thursday I watched a white woman walk in to the store I was shopping in with her mask pulled off her nose. She's walked in past an employee who let her enter despite both posted store policy and...
View ArticleShame Monster Again
I tried to get 5 houses worth of hazardous materials to the transfer station today and missed the cutoff by a few minutes. The minutes I spent visiting our kitten at our friend's. Then I got home to...
View ArticleExtreme Wife-ing
I took care of something unpleasant today that involved talking with the IRS. I also confirmed that there IRS still is working their way through the backlog of taxes submitted during the period they...
View ArticleMidweek Holidays and Other Interruptions
Today's Veterans' Day. I thought about my Father and the tangle of bluster and myth he told about his time in the Navy and his "Service Connected Disability". I've read paperwork that came to me when...
View ArticleA Collection of Calendars + Shame
We slept in this morning. I'm really grateful we aren't awakened daily at 6am by an anxious cat who never could soothe himself. Ursa mews when he hears us up and starting to move, but not earlier....
View ArticleFuck Off, Whinnie!
Realizing last night that my Inner Jerk, "Whinnie" as I dubbed her, was driving my anxiety helped some. When I realize that energy is getting big I can then invite it to settle down or just fuck off....
View ArticleEmotional Detachment
Our amazing realtor came over with an N95 mask and walked around the property and the upper floor of the house. I have a plan to move us towards vacating for sale. I know what clean up to prioritize,...
View ArticleDid You Do Anything
I'm having a night where I'm trying to recall what I did all day. It feels like dishes, meals, and a small amount of cleaning in addition to a few emails. It feels like I got nothing done. It also...
View ArticleThat Asshole
My brain, the Whinnie aspect, moved on from Inner Critic decades ago. Now all it has left is shame and I am full up. I'm trying to catch myself those times where I'm utterly failing to follow my own...
View ArticleShame & Restarting
April feels a little lost. Dora getting so sick at the beginning of the month, then having to make the decision to let her go, then COVID vaccines, and seeing a neurologist for CK. And then it was May...
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